Today, readers, I have done what any good story writer should always do - I have provided you with the ultimate storyline. If my diet were "Feastenders", what I am about to tell you would be deserving of the finale .. "DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMDUM DUMDUM" ... you get the idea.
I ate food today.
Yep, that's right - I ate food. I ate pure solid illegal banished food.
Let me start from the beginning. I woke this morning and had the most disgusting coffee I have ever had in my life because it was consumed by a vanilla powder, I drank it nevertheless. I got what I thought was a shake and my peppermint teabags ready to take to work and instead, I got sidetracked with thoughts of "ooh I'll take my guitar to work and play out on the grass at lunchtime to distract myself from eating other peoples lunches ..." and low and behold - I left my food behind which I didn't realise until I got to work.
So, I went ALL day today from 7.30am until I finally got home at 6.15pm .. with no "food" ... even my fake food! The depressing thing is, it peed down all day in London so I didn't even get to go and play my guitar!
So...picture the scene - I walk through the door, gasping for my milkshake and yearning for some energy - I pull a shake out of the cupboard and make what has to be the most disgusting watery substance I have ever made in the whole of my life. I don't know what went wrong this even but I just wasn't up to my usual Lipotrim culinary tricks ... I took one sip and threw the shake down the sink! No worries, I have my trusty chocolate cubes I made in the freezer still ... YUM! It turns out these Lipotrim shakes have to be eaten with 15 minutes of being made up, which was 23 hours ago - and it seems that left unconsumed overnight and then eaten...the only thing I can think the taste resembled was baby sick, I imagine. (Iv never tasted baby sick for the record)
I had one last fall back - the shake I was meant to take the work this morning ... or at least, the shake I thought I had put aside to take to work but no - in fact it was the shake I had left in the cupboard, the one that had gone tits up this evening and I tipped down the sink ... it was a disaster zone. I frantically scrapped my mind for ideas, what could I do - I hadn't eaten anything all day - I HAD to have something. So, in my infinite wisdom and my friend dearest friend Google, I checked what I could eat without it knocking my ketosis out of shape .. which by the way is well and truly set in today! From research, I can eat a boiled chicken breast (I'm sure that's what I used to make for my cat!) or a tin of tuna and some lettuce (likewise) I opted for the latter.
All the way through it I felt guilty but my god did it taste good - my taste buds have heightened in just one week enormously .. I could have been eating something created by Gordon Ramsey for all I care, it was bloody tasty. (Yes, just a can of tuna)
The guilt was just too much though. I knew I had to eat it for the calories but can you believe that after 6 days on an intake of 400 calories per day, I actually felt guilty for eating a poxy tin of tuna (brine and drained...very specific for the ketosis!) It was heartache .. I could feel the pounds piling on and I promptly ate, got my gym clothes on and headed to the sweat room in time to watch 'benders and for 60 minutes I worked that tuna off, it was hardcore pumping to get rid of it as quickly as I could ... I had cheated. I felt like a cheat. I wanted to scream out for my kerrykatonas...but I think its okay .. I think I have kept them safe. When I have the urge to go running to Iceland ... I know I'm losing my kerrykatonas ;-)
Well tomorrow is the big weigh in day but today there has been some progress with my decisions ladies and gents...I will no longer be partaking in the "Lipotrim" diet ... I will however be continuing with a Total Food Replacement diet .. just with a different company. There really is only so much chocolate milkshake (made wrong) that a person can take in a week and the chicken (suitable for vegetarians) has resorted to making me heave at the sight of the packet! SO, I'm off for my weekly weigh in at the chemist tomorrow and when they ask what sachets I want for next week .. I will firmly tell them where to stick it.
From now on, I'm on my own. No adult supervision from the chemist lady .. just me, my blog, and my trustee encourager's who read with anticipation at how the diet is going...
I ordered 2 weeks of meal replacements today from my new company and from trusty sources I am assured they are utterly delicious! Okay so it's still milkshakes, a few meal bars and soups BUT they do REAL FAKE food ... shepherds pie and spicy noodles (which come in a freeze dried packet and I make over the hob .. right now it sounds divine!)
My intake of calories will be the same and my kerrykatonas should continue nicely into the new diet ... fantastic! The disadvantage is .. I'm out of Liposhakes and my new diet food is "90%" next day delivery ... I hope I'm of the 90% ... if it doesn't come tomorrow I am doomed and will have to resort to eating the ice off the freezer floor ...
So, I'm excited about tomorrow and also a little nervous ... I hope Iv lost as much as I would like to think ... although my clothes don't feel much looser and I cant feel a difference myself .. bizarrely enough I think my shoes feel bigger - maybe I loose it from my feet first ;-)
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