Monday 9 August 2010

Day 1 ...Saturday 7th August 2010

It's not as easy as I thought. Today has been torture - but more so because I just crave food all the time. I don't think I NEED it, but my body is used to it and so therefore expects it.

I woke up early this morning as we had a boot sale to go to but I didn't want to have my 1st shake straight away as I wanted to spread the day as much as possible, so as instructed by the chemist, I took a bottle of water with me. On the diet I have to cram at least 4 pints of water down a day on top of the water needed for the shakes so I went off with my water bottle. I felt good! knowing it was the start of my huge weight loss made me feel excellent - that was until we actually got to the boot fair..

I remembered that I love to have a hot dog for my breakfast when I get to the boot fair ... it was a no no but everywhere I looked people were eating burgers, hot dogs, drinking cans of fizzy...it wasn't pleasurable. I found comfort in knowing my delicious strawberry milkshake when I got home would make me feel better and that when my KerryKatonas kicked in, I wouldn't want these fatty foods that I so desperately craved anymore!

My strawberry milkshake was far from delicious. In fact my only way to describe it was pureed cardboard with a hint of oats goodness. It was disgusting - my first taste of success and it was disgusting. I drank it regardless knowing I wouldn't get anything else and it did fill me up - but I still wanted normal food, I've craved for normal food.

The afternoon in my house was like a rehab clinic. I fidgeted, I paced, I slept, I got up, I did everything that you would expect someone withdrawing from an addiction would do ... and it's no exaggeration!

I had my 2nd shake around 4pm which was a chocolate shake, in the blender with ice and a shot of expresso and it wasn't bad at all ... don't get me wrong - I still would have much preferred the breaded fish fillet Claire had just put in the oven for herself...but I HAD to persevere.

I continued to act like a complete zombie for the rest of the day, and had my final meal - chicken soup at about 7pm. It was edible - but torture at the same time.

BY 8.30pm I decided I just had to go to bed to take my mind off the food ... to take my mind off the skips that were in the cupboard, or the yoghurt's and cheese that I knew were lurking behind the fridge door...

Day 1 completed, no tears but a lot of self pity tantrums. I have survived a day with no food - just goodness.

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