Its been two weeks since a crumb of "real food" went past my lips! Yes, Im still on Total Food Replacement, and they don't call it "Total" for nothing.
I'v left it a week in between my blogs to see 1) Who the hell would miss it and 2) now that my days are not filled with self pity and misery, I thought that my bloggollers may be disappointed by the content. I know that everyone gained a huge satisfaction from listening to my pain.
So, Iv still managed to avoid food - ALL food! Iv had my second weigh in and on week 1 of the "New You" diet I have lost 4Ibs ... so that means Im now at 13.4stone .. a total lost of 15Ib in two weeks. That aint 'arf bad! I probably could have lost more but I felt it was only right to taste every kind of food offering that New You had in the first week, meaning some days I maybe had a little more fake food then was deemed necessary .. so lets see what happens at the end of week three. Lipo-who?
In the last 2 weeks, I appear to have turned into a Ketosis diet guru offering email advice to anyone that wants it! (people have asked, I havent just assumed people want to go on a diet and started hounding them ... Im not that cruel) I have turned so much into a Guru and become so obsessed with it that the "New You" company have offered me my own affiliate site! I think this makes me feel special, a little like Hemel Hempstead's very own Rosemary Connolly but without the energetic bit .. or grey hair. So if anyone out there is thinking they would most like to endure the pain I went through in the beginning, and do a TFR diet - see me for a 10% discount code ...
I say I have managed to avoid ALL food but there was one tiny mishap. Picture the scene - a beautiful woman comes and spends the day sitting at my desk, to "learn" from me (I dont know who sent her!) ... Now, Im more than aware of my Ketosis acid breathe and attempt to chew Listerine strips by the bucketload and empty litres of water down it to erradicate it ... however, I had run out of both ... and so was very concious. Im not sure if she was also very conscious of my kk breathe, but at that moment she just so happened to pull out a glistening silver tub with my utter most favourite word scribed on it "Starbucks" and as she thrust them towards me offering "mint?", I lost all sense of self control. Im not sure whether it was my desperation to ensure I didnt kill her my kk fumes, or whether the word "starbucks" sent me into overload, but I reached out, took a mint and placed it in my mouth. Imagine, I havent had "food" for 2 weeks now so the overwhelming flavour caught me by immediate suprise and, at my desk, in front of the intimidatingly attractive woman - I spat my mint on the floor in disgust. Of course, her look was of both suprise and assumption that maybe she was sitting with a client of the clinic rather than a member of staff, and upon apologising and explaining I couldnt eat any food - she didnt seem any less bemused. I have learnt my lesson, I wont every let anything come between me and my kks again!
I also managed to endure a BBQ this week - I stood moaning, whining, complaining and eyeing sausages in a way I never dreamed I would ever look at a sausage. My friends were very good to me, they drank wine, smoked cigarettes and Claire ate 3 burgers in front of me (thinking if she stood facing the fence and talking with her mouth full, I wouldn't notice) ... I drank water and left after 45 minutes knowing that if I had stayed any longer I would literally be spitroasting my own arm on the BBQ and would enjoy every minute of it. It wasnt easy .... but it was 45 minutes of socialising ... it was enough. Maybe it was was too soon, I jumped in the deep end after all surrounding myself with delicious food, alcohol and people smoking (a favourite past time of mine) ... I walked away feeling better for it ... Major challenge 1 ... complete.
My milestone this week was starting to sell my pre-diet clothes on ebay, Im pretty much buggered if I put the weight back on because I will have nothing to wear but a bathrobe and an old nightdress my nan left behind last time she stayed... once I start to FEEL thinner - that will be the real milestone. At the moment, IM still feeling like Tubby Tina ... and I have to refeed next week to prep myself for Hadrians Wall and although Im just dying to eat some normal food, Im actually a bit scared to as well ... I dont want the last 3 weeks to have been for nothing ... but Im reassured that burning approx 4000 calories a day will mean I wont pile back on my 15Ib ... heres hoping! Iv got no clothes to wear if I do.
The listings are nearly all finished and everything is selling ... one thing in particular, a bow print dress I have worn to a couple of gigs has attracted the attention of "Brenda" ... Brenda is from Germany and has managed to convince me she is not a scammer and she has looked for a Bow Print Dress for months now as her boyfriend will be proposing to her and she wants a bow dress to wear for the occasion so she looks like a big present for him! I nearly wet myself laughing ... I dont know if I'v been had, but Brenda doesnt sound like a very German name to me ...
Wednesday 25 August 2010
Monday 16 August 2010
Monday 16th August - The Start of Week 2 and a New Diet ..
I haven’t given up, contrary to many peoples thoughts. No. The reason I have neglected my bloggollers (blog followers – I have made that word up so you heard it here first) is because I have literally been indulged in gorgeous creamy milkshakes, sweet maple syrup chocolate bars and lavish Spicy Noodle dishes … and the odd Strawberry Cream Wafer .. I have made the switch to “New You” and I really do feel like a New Me!
So since my last blog I have waved goodbye to Lipotrim, although we share the happy memories of a 12Ib weight loss, I’ll happily take the 12Ib back if it meant having to endure another Chicken (suitable for vegetarians) soup … or a powder-licious chocolate shake … no thanks. I had reached the point where I was probably going to lose weight due to my body going into starvation mode rather than thanking my kerrykatonas for all their hard work. Speaking of which , my two guilty lapses into tuna tins seem not to have budged it which is great news … it means I don’t have to endure another 5 days of culinary depression.
I waited patiently on Saturday morning for Parcelforce to deliver my food package … until it arrived I couldn’t eat a thing … as soon as it did I was like a child on Christmas morning … I couldn’t open the box quick enough and inside it was full of beautiful, crisp white packets. All labelled with the contents … but the ones that took my eye the most were the shiny reflective silver packets which I knew must be my solid food... I lost myself again and for a moment I was back staring into the window as Charlie Bucket – I was dying to find my golden ticket. Instead of a Golden Ticket I found something much much better … lying beneath the wrapper I found a Maple Fruit Chocolate Meal Bar, all 130 calories of it. This bar was going to be my new best friend, actually it was going to be my new lunch but it felt amazing to have “nice” food. I felt like Lipotrim had lasted a whole year!
So after I had unwrapped all of my delicious delights, I proceeded to set them up into my days and make myself a spread sheet (I love spread sheets – they help me rationalise, especially food) … so Im all set for the next 2 weeks of dieting … the test will of course be in the weigh in on Friday morning as at the moment I’m dubious that good tasting diet food can make you loose weight … if it works I may switch to a diet of cream cakes and pasta bakes ... mmmmm
So overall, my weekend was a success … however, it wasn’t such a success on the badminton court where I was beaten to a pulp by a certain Miss Ashton. In fairness, I haven’t actually eaten for 8 days and I just couldn’t fathom the energy, they finally let me give in when I was crawling on the floor gasping for water and begging for the game to stop … it was a harsh lesson to learn.
On Sunday I did nothing apart from taste a rather vile Vanilla Shake which I obviously wont be ordering again, I took one sip and had flashbacks to Lipotrim and emotionally I was back in LipoLand where misery is happiness.. I drank it and made do, but I won’t be making that mistake again .. and watched a few DVDs .. it was bliss. It was bliss compared to where I should have been which was at a food festival on the Isle of Wight … I wasn’t sure that my willpower would see me through the mounds of cheeses, pickles and homebrewed beer … so I decided to stay away and it was probably a wise choice … I heard it rained all day, I would have only got my hotdog wet.
As I write this I am sitting on a mound of Deep Heat as a result of doing too much exercise last week. I should have listened to the advice of doing “no exercise in the first week as you need to allow your body to adjust” … as per usual, I assumed I knew best and I continued to pack in as much exercise as possible… I have suffered as the muscles in my thighs and let’s say, Glutus Maximus, have left me wallowing in self-pity and Claire is yet to hear the end of my “bruised thighs and bum!”
Friday 13 August 2010
Day 7 ... Friday 13th August 2010 - END OF WEEK 1
My Dearest Blogwatchers,
It is with deep regret that I write to you with sad news this evening. For those know me and love the kind, warmhearted, witty being that is myself, I am afraid to say that as of 9.30am this morning, there is now 12Ibs less of me to love!
Correct. Do not adjust your screens or push your bi-focals up in the air (I'm hoping I have an audience of varying ages) ... in my week of hardship, self pity, food-goggling, supermarket browsing, and food touching only - I lost 12Ib. That's actually 1/4 of the amount I need to loose overall ... okay so most of it is water BUT 12Ib felt pretty amazing ... it looks like the kerrykatonas weren't affected too much by my guilt ridden tin of tuna last night!
Although I am rather joyous today at my weightloss success (in case you didn't see it above, I lost 12Ib this week), it was also a sad day as I had to say goodbye to Sarah the trainee chemist and the pharmacy lady who I felt I really bonded with in my first session last week. They saw me cry my completely over dramatised tears in their stationary cupboard (aka consulting room) and the look of panic on my face when I realised I was biting the bullet and going 2 months without food. They could quite clearly see that going without food was not something I had ever partaken in and I hadn't even told them! Amazing instincts these chemist people.
Especially Sarah the trainee chemist, the way she spoke to me, like it was my first day of school - it really showed she cared ... (I hope my sarcasm is getting across...maybe I didn't need to write this line ... I've probably ruined it now because you probably got it in the first place .. but it was in case you didn't)
They saw me a transformed figure of a woman today, albeit 12Ib less of a woman, and I told them I was flying the nest and going solo. You should have seen the look of disappointment on their face - there was none.
So, I'm going Total Food Replacement on my own. It appears my KK's are still firmly in place and today was a definite test of that. It is through my disorganisation, lack of brain power and distraction of having 2 screens open and spending more time buying DVD box sets from amazon, that means I didn't order my "new replacement food" until 5pm last night. So, lets put this in perspective. I had run out of Lipotrim .. and my order of new food isn't coming until tomorrow .. that means no food at all today without risking the kks? Correct.
I stocked up on as much water as possible determined to make it through the day, if I can survive on 400 calories a day surely I can survive on 0! Wrong! By 5pm I was so unbelievably hungry that I nearly ate one of my clients this afternoon. I wouldn't have felt all that bad either because when I gleefully bounced into my clinic, looked at 3 of my clients and said "anyone notice anything differently" .. they all looked blankly (like literally, blankly - like I wasn't even there!) so I helped them out a little "I've lost 12IB this week!" .. to which one of them who has an infamous gambling issue replied; "On what?" ... I left it at that with a HUGE sigh.
I digress, so by 5pm I was so famished that I went to tesco to buy a lonesome can of tuna number 2 and I ate the whole bloody lot within 2 minutes. There was no time for guilt, no time for thinking about the KK's ... it was just gone. I did take a trip to the gym this evening which was less successful than last night as attempting to exercise when all you have eaten for 48 hours is 2 tins of tuna .. is not fun nor clever. Plus I missed 'enders and The Boogie Pimps just weren't cutting it for me tonight. Still, I walked 4 miles on the treadmill and did 15 minutes on the steppy army thingy one.
I noticed on the way out that there was a board where you could stick your goals up and I went to fill in one and thought I'd take a look at some other peoples for some inspiration. I will leave you with the one that inspired me the most.
"To speak to the fit blond instructor, and then anal her"
Goodnight
It is with deep regret that I write to you with sad news this evening. For those know me and love the kind, warmhearted, witty being that is myself, I am afraid to say that as of 9.30am this morning, there is now 12Ibs less of me to love!
Correct. Do not adjust your screens or push your bi-focals up in the air (I'm hoping I have an audience of varying ages) ... in my week of hardship, self pity, food-goggling, supermarket browsing, and food touching only - I lost 12Ib. That's actually 1/4 of the amount I need to loose overall ... okay so most of it is water BUT 12Ib felt pretty amazing ... it looks like the kerrykatonas weren't affected too much by my guilt ridden tin of tuna last night!
Although I am rather joyous today at my weightloss success (in case you didn't see it above, I lost 12Ib this week), it was also a sad day as I had to say goodbye to Sarah the trainee chemist and the pharmacy lady who I felt I really bonded with in my first session last week. They saw me cry my completely over dramatised tears in their stationary cupboard (aka consulting room) and the look of panic on my face when I realised I was biting the bullet and going 2 months without food. They could quite clearly see that going without food was not something I had ever partaken in and I hadn't even told them! Amazing instincts these chemist people.
Especially Sarah the trainee chemist, the way she spoke to me, like it was my first day of school - it really showed she cared ... (I hope my sarcasm is getting across...maybe I didn't need to write this line ... I've probably ruined it now because you probably got it in the first place .. but it was in case you didn't)
They saw me a transformed figure of a woman today, albeit 12Ib less of a woman, and I told them I was flying the nest and going solo. You should have seen the look of disappointment on their face - there was none.
So, I'm going Total Food Replacement on my own. It appears my KK's are still firmly in place and today was a definite test of that. It is through my disorganisation, lack of brain power and distraction of having 2 screens open and spending more time buying DVD box sets from amazon, that means I didn't order my "new replacement food" until 5pm last night. So, lets put this in perspective. I had run out of Lipotrim .. and my order of new food isn't coming until tomorrow .. that means no food at all today without risking the kks? Correct.
I stocked up on as much water as possible determined to make it through the day, if I can survive on 400 calories a day surely I can survive on 0! Wrong! By 5pm I was so unbelievably hungry that I nearly ate one of my clients this afternoon. I wouldn't have felt all that bad either because when I gleefully bounced into my clinic, looked at 3 of my clients and said "anyone notice anything differently" .. they all looked blankly (like literally, blankly - like I wasn't even there!) so I helped them out a little "I've lost 12IB this week!" .. to which one of them who has an infamous gambling issue replied; "On what?" ... I left it at that with a HUGE sigh.
I digress, so by 5pm I was so famished that I went to tesco to buy a lonesome can of tuna number 2 and I ate the whole bloody lot within 2 minutes. There was no time for guilt, no time for thinking about the KK's ... it was just gone. I did take a trip to the gym this evening which was less successful than last night as attempting to exercise when all you have eaten for 48 hours is 2 tins of tuna .. is not fun nor clever. Plus I missed 'enders and The Boogie Pimps just weren't cutting it for me tonight. Still, I walked 4 miles on the treadmill and did 15 minutes on the steppy army thingy one.
I noticed on the way out that there was a board where you could stick your goals up and I went to fill in one and thought I'd take a look at some other peoples for some inspiration. I will leave you with the one that inspired me the most.
"To speak to the fit blond instructor, and then anal her"
Goodnight
Thursday 12 August 2010
Day 6 .. Thursday 12th August 2010
Today, readers, I have done what any good story writer should always do - I have provided you with the ultimate storyline. If my diet were "Feastenders", what I am about to tell you would be deserving of the finale .. "DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMDUM DUMDUM" ... you get the idea.
I ate food today.
Yep, that's right - I ate food. I ate pure solid illegal banished food.
Let me start from the beginning. I woke this morning and had the most disgusting coffee I have ever had in my life because it was consumed by a vanilla powder, I drank it nevertheless. I got what I thought was a shake and my peppermint teabags ready to take to work and instead, I got sidetracked with thoughts of "ooh I'll take my guitar to work and play out on the grass at lunchtime to distract myself from eating other peoples lunches ..." and low and behold - I left my food behind which I didn't realise until I got to work.
So, I went ALL day today from 7.30am until I finally got home at 6.15pm .. with no "food" ... even my fake food! The depressing thing is, it peed down all day in London so I didn't even get to go and play my guitar!
So...picture the scene - I walk through the door, gasping for my milkshake and yearning for some energy - I pull a shake out of the cupboard and make what has to be the most disgusting watery substance I have ever made in the whole of my life. I don't know what went wrong this even but I just wasn't up to my usual Lipotrim culinary tricks ... I took one sip and threw the shake down the sink! No worries, I have my trusty chocolate cubes I made in the freezer still ... YUM! It turns out these Lipotrim shakes have to be eaten with 15 minutes of being made up, which was 23 hours ago - and it seems that left unconsumed overnight and then eaten...the only thing I can think the taste resembled was baby sick, I imagine. (Iv never tasted baby sick for the record)
I had one last fall back - the shake I was meant to take the work this morning ... or at least, the shake I thought I had put aside to take to work but no - in fact it was the shake I had left in the cupboard, the one that had gone tits up this evening and I tipped down the sink ... it was a disaster zone. I frantically scrapped my mind for ideas, what could I do - I hadn't eaten anything all day - I HAD to have something. So, in my infinite wisdom and my friend dearest friend Google, I checked what I could eat without it knocking my ketosis out of shape .. which by the way is well and truly set in today! From research, I can eat a boiled chicken breast (I'm sure that's what I used to make for my cat!) or a tin of tuna and some lettuce (likewise) I opted for the latter.
All the way through it I felt guilty but my god did it taste good - my taste buds have heightened in just one week enormously .. I could have been eating something created by Gordon Ramsey for all I care, it was bloody tasty. (Yes, just a can of tuna)
The guilt was just too much though. I knew I had to eat it for the calories but can you believe that after 6 days on an intake of 400 calories per day, I actually felt guilty for eating a poxy tin of tuna (brine and drained...very specific for the ketosis!) It was heartache .. I could feel the pounds piling on and I promptly ate, got my gym clothes on and headed to the sweat room in time to watch 'benders and for 60 minutes I worked that tuna off, it was hardcore pumping to get rid of it as quickly as I could ... I had cheated. I felt like a cheat. I wanted to scream out for my kerrykatonas...but I think its okay .. I think I have kept them safe. When I have the urge to go running to Iceland ... I know I'm losing my kerrykatonas ;-)
Well tomorrow is the big weigh in day but today there has been some progress with my decisions ladies and gents...I will no longer be partaking in the "Lipotrim" diet ... I will however be continuing with a Total Food Replacement diet .. just with a different company. There really is only so much chocolate milkshake (made wrong) that a person can take in a week and the chicken (suitable for vegetarians) has resorted to making me heave at the sight of the packet! SO, I'm off for my weekly weigh in at the chemist tomorrow and when they ask what sachets I want for next week .. I will firmly tell them where to stick it.
From now on, I'm on my own. No adult supervision from the chemist lady .. just me, my blog, and my trustee encourager's who read with anticipation at how the diet is going...
I ordered 2 weeks of meal replacements today from my new company and from trusty sources I am assured they are utterly delicious! Okay so it's still milkshakes, a few meal bars and soups BUT they do REAL FAKE food ... shepherds pie and spicy noodles (which come in a freeze dried packet and I make over the hob .. right now it sounds divine!)
My intake of calories will be the same and my kerrykatonas should continue nicely into the new diet ... fantastic! The disadvantage is .. I'm out of Liposhakes and my new diet food is "90%" next day delivery ... I hope I'm of the 90% ... if it doesn't come tomorrow I am doomed and will have to resort to eating the ice off the freezer floor ...
So, I'm excited about tomorrow and also a little nervous ... I hope Iv lost as much as I would like to think ... although my clothes don't feel much looser and I cant feel a difference myself .. bizarrely enough I think my shoes feel bigger - maybe I loose it from my feet first ;-)
I ate food today.
Yep, that's right - I ate food. I ate pure solid illegal banished food.
Let me start from the beginning. I woke this morning and had the most disgusting coffee I have ever had in my life because it was consumed by a vanilla powder, I drank it nevertheless. I got what I thought was a shake and my peppermint teabags ready to take to work and instead, I got sidetracked with thoughts of "ooh I'll take my guitar to work and play out on the grass at lunchtime to distract myself from eating other peoples lunches ..." and low and behold - I left my food behind which I didn't realise until I got to work.
So, I went ALL day today from 7.30am until I finally got home at 6.15pm .. with no "food" ... even my fake food! The depressing thing is, it peed down all day in London so I didn't even get to go and play my guitar!
So...picture the scene - I walk through the door, gasping for my milkshake and yearning for some energy - I pull a shake out of the cupboard and make what has to be the most disgusting watery substance I have ever made in the whole of my life. I don't know what went wrong this even but I just wasn't up to my usual Lipotrim culinary tricks ... I took one sip and threw the shake down the sink! No worries, I have my trusty chocolate cubes I made in the freezer still ... YUM! It turns out these Lipotrim shakes have to be eaten with 15 minutes of being made up, which was 23 hours ago - and it seems that left unconsumed overnight and then eaten...the only thing I can think the taste resembled was baby sick, I imagine. (Iv never tasted baby sick for the record)
I had one last fall back - the shake I was meant to take the work this morning ... or at least, the shake I thought I had put aside to take to work but no - in fact it was the shake I had left in the cupboard, the one that had gone tits up this evening and I tipped down the sink ... it was a disaster zone. I frantically scrapped my mind for ideas, what could I do - I hadn't eaten anything all day - I HAD to have something. So, in my infinite wisdom and my friend dearest friend Google, I checked what I could eat without it knocking my ketosis out of shape .. which by the way is well and truly set in today! From research, I can eat a boiled chicken breast (I'm sure that's what I used to make for my cat!) or a tin of tuna and some lettuce (likewise) I opted for the latter.
All the way through it I felt guilty but my god did it taste good - my taste buds have heightened in just one week enormously .. I could have been eating something created by Gordon Ramsey for all I care, it was bloody tasty. (Yes, just a can of tuna)
The guilt was just too much though. I knew I had to eat it for the calories but can you believe that after 6 days on an intake of 400 calories per day, I actually felt guilty for eating a poxy tin of tuna (brine and drained...very specific for the ketosis!) It was heartache .. I could feel the pounds piling on and I promptly ate, got my gym clothes on and headed to the sweat room in time to watch 'benders and for 60 minutes I worked that tuna off, it was hardcore pumping to get rid of it as quickly as I could ... I had cheated. I felt like a cheat. I wanted to scream out for my kerrykatonas...but I think its okay .. I think I have kept them safe. When I have the urge to go running to Iceland ... I know I'm losing my kerrykatonas ;-)
Well tomorrow is the big weigh in day but today there has been some progress with my decisions ladies and gents...I will no longer be partaking in the "Lipotrim" diet ... I will however be continuing with a Total Food Replacement diet .. just with a different company. There really is only so much chocolate milkshake (made wrong) that a person can take in a week and the chicken (suitable for vegetarians) has resorted to making me heave at the sight of the packet! SO, I'm off for my weekly weigh in at the chemist tomorrow and when they ask what sachets I want for next week .. I will firmly tell them where to stick it.
From now on, I'm on my own. No adult supervision from the chemist lady .. just me, my blog, and my trustee encourager's who read with anticipation at how the diet is going...
I ordered 2 weeks of meal replacements today from my new company and from trusty sources I am assured they are utterly delicious! Okay so it's still milkshakes, a few meal bars and soups BUT they do REAL FAKE food ... shepherds pie and spicy noodles (which come in a freeze dried packet and I make over the hob .. right now it sounds divine!)
My intake of calories will be the same and my kerrykatonas should continue nicely into the new diet ... fantastic! The disadvantage is .. I'm out of Liposhakes and my new diet food is "90%" next day delivery ... I hope I'm of the 90% ... if it doesn't come tomorrow I am doomed and will have to resort to eating the ice off the freezer floor ...
So, I'm excited about tomorrow and also a little nervous ... I hope Iv lost as much as I would like to think ... although my clothes don't feel much looser and I cant feel a difference myself .. bizarrely enough I think my shoes feel bigger - maybe I loose it from my feet first ;-)
Wednesday 11 August 2010
Day 5 .. Wednesday 11th August 2010
I have come to the conclusion that the only way I can continue with this diet is to avoid going to work for the foreseeable future. Okay, maybe that wont work ... but I did today. Today I worked from home where I was safe from the smells and temptations of the London Food Scene.
Within the 4 walls of my study, in front of my computer is where I feel the most safe. There is of course the mild interruptions of "Two for Tuesday" reminders from Pizza Hut directly to my email inbox, but I deleted them after pondering, then realising it was Wednesday anyway.
I had a lovely choc coffee milkshake which I avoided until 11am .... I seem to think the longer I suffer first thing in the morning, the less I'll suffer in the afternoon - its not quite true but for those first few hours it certainly gets me by. I spent the rest of the morning in front of the PC, door closed hoping that I wouldn't hear the bittersweet sound of takeaway delivery menus landing on my doormat.
I felt the need to experiment with my sachets today - the standard milkshakes just were not cutting it and before long I just know the smell of the "chicken" (for vegetarians!) soup will make me gag - so instead I decided to make a mousse and a poppadom for my dinner! That's right - a mousse from my vanilla shake mix and a poppadom from my chicken soup mix ... and it was not good.
The vanilla mousse .... OK-ish apart from the slight tangy salty oat after taste I got, towards the end I just swallowed without tasting. Still, the concept of using a spoon to eat my dinner was somewhat exciting and it got me through the meal. I then attempted to make the chicken soup into a paste, spread it on a baking tray and pop it in the oven - the theory being it would turn into a big poppadom. The result? I'm one sachet down for the week and no poppadom. Tomorrow, I'm going to try making crisps out of it with fizzy water - by the end of this diet I envisage my very own cookbook "Tina's guide to surviving Lipotrim". I will of course perfect the poppadom before that one is published.
What I did successfully make was chocolate! Oh yes, here is one craving that will be well and truly fulfilled! Chocolate shake made to a paste with a little one, spooned into ice cube trays and VOILA! one hour later I had teeny tiny bite size snacks of chocolate to get me through the few hours in between meals when I just need a hit ... and they don't taste half bad! This afternoon was a tricky one and anyone on facebook that saw my status' were probably aware that it was a struggle .. I wanted to eat and all I kept doing was going to the kitchen and looking in the cupboards pining for the day I would be able to eat the contents of it ... I even considered throwing it all in the bin, and then had to wake up to the fact its just not fair to starve Claire as well all in the name of dieting!
I played badminton again tonight and saw Ian who inspired me (I use that word loosely now I'm on day 5 of the diet from hell) to do Lipotrim and we spent about 30 minutes after the game talking about the diet and I left the sports centre feeling reassured and confident that I CAN DO IT! We also discussed a few incidents I have had to get me through the days, one yesterday I forgot to mention in my blog was bending down to touch the leftover bit of garlic bread on Claire's plate - I had no intention to eat it - I just wanted to touch it. I had forgotten how good food felt. Apparently even touching food when on Lipotrim is illegal!!
I took yet another trip to tesco this evening, not to gaze lovingly in the eyes of the cheese section, but to stock back up on my water supply as I have run out. I even found the courage to let Claire do a bit of her food shopping while we were in there, even if I did have to stand facing away from the till at the end while she packed her shopping! Maybe I'll help her pack next week ...
The texts and facebook messages I have received from friends and family have helped hugely, namely today from Carley (standard), Emma, Joanna, the Cassie's on facebook, Roz and Kay .. thanks everyone for your words of encouragement - because of you all I now feel totally under pressure to finish it ... so thanks (through gritted teeth!)
So, I cant stay away from the demons for much longerr and tomorrow I have to return to my office - BUT its my last FULL day of Lipo before weigh in on Friday ... and I'm feeling the pressure to loose a nice amount of weight in my first week .. if I don't loose a nice amount I think I'm going to get my revenge by force feeding the chemist lady and her assistant all the strawberry milkshakes I returned and then get THEM to step on the scales!
I did have to do something today however to curb my frustration, I removed myself from the Facebook Starbucks group - that hurt. That really really hurt.
Within the 4 walls of my study, in front of my computer is where I feel the most safe. There is of course the mild interruptions of "Two for Tuesday" reminders from Pizza Hut directly to my email inbox, but I deleted them after pondering, then realising it was Wednesday anyway.
I had a lovely choc coffee milkshake which I avoided until 11am .... I seem to think the longer I suffer first thing in the morning, the less I'll suffer in the afternoon - its not quite true but for those first few hours it certainly gets me by. I spent the rest of the morning in front of the PC, door closed hoping that I wouldn't hear the bittersweet sound of takeaway delivery menus landing on my doormat.
I felt the need to experiment with my sachets today - the standard milkshakes just were not cutting it and before long I just know the smell of the "chicken" (for vegetarians!) soup will make me gag - so instead I decided to make a mousse and a poppadom for my dinner! That's right - a mousse from my vanilla shake mix and a poppadom from my chicken soup mix ... and it was not good.
The vanilla mousse .... OK-ish apart from the slight tangy salty oat after taste I got, towards the end I just swallowed without tasting. Still, the concept of using a spoon to eat my dinner was somewhat exciting and it got me through the meal. I then attempted to make the chicken soup into a paste, spread it on a baking tray and pop it in the oven - the theory being it would turn into a big poppadom. The result? I'm one sachet down for the week and no poppadom. Tomorrow, I'm going to try making crisps out of it with fizzy water - by the end of this diet I envisage my very own cookbook "Tina's guide to surviving Lipotrim". I will of course perfect the poppadom before that one is published.
What I did successfully make was chocolate! Oh yes, here is one craving that will be well and truly fulfilled! Chocolate shake made to a paste with a little one, spooned into ice cube trays and VOILA! one hour later I had teeny tiny bite size snacks of chocolate to get me through the few hours in between meals when I just need a hit ... and they don't taste half bad! This afternoon was a tricky one and anyone on facebook that saw my status' were probably aware that it was a struggle .. I wanted to eat and all I kept doing was going to the kitchen and looking in the cupboards pining for the day I would be able to eat the contents of it ... I even considered throwing it all in the bin, and then had to wake up to the fact its just not fair to starve Claire as well all in the name of dieting!
I played badminton again tonight and saw Ian who inspired me (I use that word loosely now I'm on day 5 of the diet from hell) to do Lipotrim and we spent about 30 minutes after the game talking about the diet and I left the sports centre feeling reassured and confident that I CAN DO IT! We also discussed a few incidents I have had to get me through the days, one yesterday I forgot to mention in my blog was bending down to touch the leftover bit of garlic bread on Claire's plate - I had no intention to eat it - I just wanted to touch it. I had forgotten how good food felt. Apparently even touching food when on Lipotrim is illegal!!
I took yet another trip to tesco this evening, not to gaze lovingly in the eyes of the cheese section, but to stock back up on my water supply as I have run out. I even found the courage to let Claire do a bit of her food shopping while we were in there, even if I did have to stand facing away from the till at the end while she packed her shopping! Maybe I'll help her pack next week ...
The texts and facebook messages I have received from friends and family have helped hugely, namely today from Carley (standard), Emma, Joanna, the Cassie's on facebook, Roz and Kay .. thanks everyone for your words of encouragement - because of you all I now feel totally under pressure to finish it ... so thanks (through gritted teeth!)
So, I cant stay away from the demons for much longerr and tomorrow I have to return to my office - BUT its my last FULL day of Lipo before weigh in on Friday ... and I'm feeling the pressure to loose a nice amount of weight in my first week .. if I don't loose a nice amount I think I'm going to get my revenge by force feeding the chemist lady and her assistant all the strawberry milkshakes I returned and then get THEM to step on the scales!
I did have to do something today however to curb my frustration, I removed myself from the Facebook Starbucks group - that hurt. That really really hurt.
Tuesday 10 August 2010
Day 4 ... Tuesday 10th August 2010
I cannot beleive its only Tuesday. I'v had years that have gone by quicker than the last 4 days! I have only one word to describe today .. okay maybe two words ... BLOODY PAINFUL!
Today has been a disaster in every sense of the word. It started by being my first day back at work whilst on the diet, working from home yesterday was a breeze compared to being back at work today. Firstly, I have to go to London and be surrounded by the sights, smells and happiness of every fried chicken shop in central london - (yes even at 10am in the morning - it appears the people of London just love a McChicken Bap for their elevenses) Now, I'v seen the programmes about how cruelly the chickens are kept when batch farmed and that anyone with an ounce of morality should steer clear.. but I havent "eaten" for 4 days and if you think that stopped me wanting to visit the Colonel directly and holding him hostage for his "secret recipe" .. then you are wrong. It was absolute torture - every corner presented me with a costa coffee, a sandwich bar, an italian restaurant, a chinese buffet restaurant - and for anyone that knows me well enough, the endured trauma as I walked past Starbucks. Of all challenges, this was going to be the one to chuck me head first off the wagon and make me fall flat on my face. Just one Caramel Macchiato would have been fine. I'd even be prepared to have the skinny version - now thats desperate.
However, I just stood at the window, on the outside looking in and realised that I probably looked a little like Charlie Bucket looking into the shop at the wonka bars, knowing they were so far from his reach.I watched through the window at the skinny people enjoying their "mocha choca extra large extra cream soya milk caramel drizzle double top coffees with an extra shot" - it hardly seemed fair.
However, I am proud of doing something I never thought was possible - I walked straight past Starbucks for the first time in my life and I didnt go in. For me, that was more an accomplishment than giving up food for 4 days!
I had a meeting first thing in the morning with my "big boss". I was armed with Listerine strips to save her from the clutches of the kerrykatona breath and with a litre bottle of water to see my hunger pains through the morning. It wasnt until I had witnessed her look at my chest more than about 5 times that I looked down to realise I was in fact revealing much more of my "chest" than I would have liked! I had a top on, that is actually Claires, which last month when I borrowed it was nice and snug and covered my modesty - this time round however, it was hanging off the front of my chest - clearly revealing more than my "big boss" would have deemed acceptable! I wrapped up the meeting (and my cleavage) swiftly and headed out with a slight smile on my face ... if the t-shirt is too big for me.. it can only mean one thing :-)
I called my mum on the way back ... I dont know whether it was to moan or to show off "I haven't eaten in 4 whole days" ... my mum found (deep deep down somewhere) some words of encouragement and it made me feel a whole load better ... she even managed to direct me to where the sweetners would be in a Tesco Express store in Central London that she's never been within a 50 mile radius of! That woman knows her stuff!
On my new found motivation, I headed back to the tube, surrounded by the sights and smells of London (mainly food). I passed a chemist and realised there were some things called "Ketostix" that I could buy which would test my level of Ketones, hence check if I was actually at the ultimate stage of fat burning.
There was only one way to see for certain if kerrykatona was present in my body (cough), and that was to get some sticks! So, for the first and most likely one of the last times in my life, I pee'ed on a stick ... and there we have it ... DARK PURPLE .. the most positive Ketone sign you can get according to the colour chart .. RESULT!
Even with the reassurance of my kerrykatonas, the rest of the day however has been nearly impossible, I returned to my desk to find a loaf of olive bread that my colleague had bought me back from somerset ... er, thanks, I'll pop it in the freezer... I had 3 lunch invites waiting in my inbox and someone was walking around trying to give away sandwiches .. not a good afternoon. I even went back to the loo with a second "ketostick" as something to do ... not the most socially acceptable thing to do whilst others are waiting for me to start a meeting - but it was better than eating my computer screen in front of everyone.
I struggled to take my mind off food all the way home, I imagined what it would be like to take a bite of a krispy kreme donut ... and I dont even like Krispy Kreme Donuts... I decided to pop into Tesco on the way home, just to have a look around. I could look, but I knew touching was out of bounds. In fact I knew that even fantasising would probably be deemed illegal - but I just needed to look at the food .. I needed to come face to face with the demon that had done this to me .. I needed to know what I was missing. I left Tesco 40 minutes later, with about 30 minutes of that stood in front of the the hot chicken counter and the other 10 minutes reading text messages from my best friend Jo telling me to "get out get out get out" upon realising I was basically on the same level of risk as Amy Winehouse in a crack den ... I bought a pair of size 14 jeans that I WILL squeeze myself into within the next 2 weeks and a cream of skin firming cream. No food.
I got home at approx 5pm and made my chocolate coffee milkshake quicker than you can say "not for me Im on a diet" and guzzled it quicker than you can say "oh go on then, just one wont hurt." I find pleasure in knowing theres a chicken soup waiting for me when I get home later ... no, seriously I do.
Today has been tough, really really tough, I suspect tomorrow will be tough too. Im going to the cinema tonight and will have to endure the sounds of people enjoying their popcorn - or maybe if Im really lucky I might get some thrown at me by some rowdy teenagers, suddenly that prospect seems rather appealing - theres a 3 second rule after all :-)
TODAYS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO CLAIRE, CARLEY, JO AND MY MUM ... MY ENCOURAGERS AND MY SUPPORT FOR TODAY WHO I KNOW WILL LOVE ME WHETHER IM 8 STONE OR 80 STONE! ... THANK YOU GUYS X
Today has been a disaster in every sense of the word. It started by being my first day back at work whilst on the diet, working from home yesterday was a breeze compared to being back at work today. Firstly, I have to go to London and be surrounded by the sights, smells and happiness of every fried chicken shop in central london - (yes even at 10am in the morning - it appears the people of London just love a McChicken Bap for their elevenses) Now, I'v seen the programmes about how cruelly the chickens are kept when batch farmed and that anyone with an ounce of morality should steer clear.. but I havent "eaten" for 4 days and if you think that stopped me wanting to visit the Colonel directly and holding him hostage for his "secret recipe" .. then you are wrong. It was absolute torture - every corner presented me with a costa coffee, a sandwich bar, an italian restaurant, a chinese buffet restaurant - and for anyone that knows me well enough, the endured trauma as I walked past Starbucks. Of all challenges, this was going to be the one to chuck me head first off the wagon and make me fall flat on my face. Just one Caramel Macchiato would have been fine. I'd even be prepared to have the skinny version - now thats desperate.
However, I just stood at the window, on the outside looking in and realised that I probably looked a little like Charlie Bucket looking into the shop at the wonka bars, knowing they were so far from his reach.I watched through the window at the skinny people enjoying their "mocha choca extra large extra cream soya milk caramel drizzle double top coffees with an extra shot" - it hardly seemed fair.
However, I am proud of doing something I never thought was possible - I walked straight past Starbucks for the first time in my life and I didnt go in. For me, that was more an accomplishment than giving up food for 4 days!
I had a meeting first thing in the morning with my "big boss". I was armed with Listerine strips to save her from the clutches of the kerrykatona breath and with a litre bottle of water to see my hunger pains through the morning. It wasnt until I had witnessed her look at my chest more than about 5 times that I looked down to realise I was in fact revealing much more of my "chest" than I would have liked! I had a top on, that is actually Claires, which last month when I borrowed it was nice and snug and covered my modesty - this time round however, it was hanging off the front of my chest - clearly revealing more than my "big boss" would have deemed acceptable! I wrapped up the meeting (and my cleavage) swiftly and headed out with a slight smile on my face ... if the t-shirt is too big for me.. it can only mean one thing :-)
I called my mum on the way back ... I dont know whether it was to moan or to show off "I haven't eaten in 4 whole days" ... my mum found (deep deep down somewhere) some words of encouragement and it made me feel a whole load better ... she even managed to direct me to where the sweetners would be in a Tesco Express store in Central London that she's never been within a 50 mile radius of! That woman knows her stuff!
On my new found motivation, I headed back to the tube, surrounded by the sights and smells of London (mainly food). I passed a chemist and realised there were some things called "Ketostix" that I could buy which would test my level of Ketones, hence check if I was actually at the ultimate stage of fat burning.
There was only one way to see for certain if kerrykatona was present in my body (cough), and that was to get some sticks! So, for the first and most likely one of the last times in my life, I pee'ed on a stick ... and there we have it ... DARK PURPLE .. the most positive Ketone sign you can get according to the colour chart .. RESULT!
Even with the reassurance of my kerrykatonas, the rest of the day however has been nearly impossible, I returned to my desk to find a loaf of olive bread that my colleague had bought me back from somerset ... er, thanks, I'll pop it in the freezer... I had 3 lunch invites waiting in my inbox and someone was walking around trying to give away sandwiches .. not a good afternoon. I even went back to the loo with a second "ketostick" as something to do ... not the most socially acceptable thing to do whilst others are waiting for me to start a meeting - but it was better than eating my computer screen in front of everyone.
I struggled to take my mind off food all the way home, I imagined what it would be like to take a bite of a krispy kreme donut ... and I dont even like Krispy Kreme Donuts... I decided to pop into Tesco on the way home, just to have a look around. I could look, but I knew touching was out of bounds. In fact I knew that even fantasising would probably be deemed illegal - but I just needed to look at the food .. I needed to come face to face with the demon that had done this to me .. I needed to know what I was missing. I left Tesco 40 minutes later, with about 30 minutes of that stood in front of the the hot chicken counter and the other 10 minutes reading text messages from my best friend Jo telling me to "get out get out get out" upon realising I was basically on the same level of risk as Amy Winehouse in a crack den ... I bought a pair of size 14 jeans that I WILL squeeze myself into within the next 2 weeks and a cream of skin firming cream. No food.
I got home at approx 5pm and made my chocolate coffee milkshake quicker than you can say "not for me Im on a diet" and guzzled it quicker than you can say "oh go on then, just one wont hurt." I find pleasure in knowing theres a chicken soup waiting for me when I get home later ... no, seriously I do.
Today has been tough, really really tough, I suspect tomorrow will be tough too. Im going to the cinema tonight and will have to endure the sounds of people enjoying their popcorn - or maybe if Im really lucky I might get some thrown at me by some rowdy teenagers, suddenly that prospect seems rather appealing - theres a 3 second rule after all :-)
TODAYS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO CLAIRE, CARLEY, JO AND MY MUM ... MY ENCOURAGERS AND MY SUPPORT FOR TODAY WHO I KNOW WILL LOVE ME WHETHER IM 8 STONE OR 80 STONE! ... THANK YOU GUYS X
Monday 9 August 2010
Day 3 ... Monday 9th August 2010
So, day 3 and I'm still starving! Well, I think I'm starving but I'm not sure the frustration of not being able to eat the tropical cheese I bought from a farm shop a few weeks ago counts as being "starving".
I've got by with a little help from my friends today ... namely Carley. Carley is about 1/4 of my size, wears whatever is in season for Barbie (actual size) and yet is one of the most encouraging people I have ever met ... she is helping to visualise being slimmer which is nice ... what's not so nice is planning her birthday meal at the end of September - I've never wanted to see a menu so badly in all my life! I'm going to study it for the next 7 weeks and by the time I get to that meal I will know every dinner on the menu inside out, the calories in each and the amount of fat it will make me store! So, extreme maybe but I just cant wait for that first meal in 7 weeks time - I'm desperate for a "hit".
I went to the chemist today which I mistook for the milkshake swap shop and asked to trade in my strawberry milkshakes for some chocolate and vanilla ones because they are utterly revolting. I didn't quite mean to word it in that way ... but the lady at the counter proceeding to tell the qualified and well respected pharmacy "can this lady exchange her shakes on the lipo diet because they are utterly revolting" ... she could have helped me out a bit!
I had 1/2 cup of soup for my lunch ... I thought I'd save the other half until after badminton. I don't know what life has come to when my simple pleasure in life is looking forward to a "fake" chicken soup (it's suitable for vegetarians) after a game of badminton! I had my newly exchanged vanilla shake to give me my energy boost before badminton ... and I'm pleased I did ... I was nearly ready to collapse by the end of it!
I lost sorely at badminton - I like to blame it on the fact that I have basically not eaten since Friday, which is what I made sure I told my team mates every time I missed a shot. "I'v not eaten since friday you know! If it takes me to be in this weak state for you to beat me then so be it!"
I was determined to carry on tonight and I'm pleased I did ... and you know what? I didn't even have my 1/2 cup of chicken soup when I got home AND Claire has described my breathe as "RANK" ... I think that might be progress! The kerrykatonas have arrived!
I'm back to work today .... but I think I'll keep the diet our little secret ...
I've got by with a little help from my friends today ... namely Carley. Carley is about 1/4 of my size, wears whatever is in season for Barbie (actual size) and yet is one of the most encouraging people I have ever met ... she is helping to visualise being slimmer which is nice ... what's not so nice is planning her birthday meal at the end of September - I've never wanted to see a menu so badly in all my life! I'm going to study it for the next 7 weeks and by the time I get to that meal I will know every dinner on the menu inside out, the calories in each and the amount of fat it will make me store! So, extreme maybe but I just cant wait for that first meal in 7 weeks time - I'm desperate for a "hit".
I went to the chemist today which I mistook for the milkshake swap shop and asked to trade in my strawberry milkshakes for some chocolate and vanilla ones because they are utterly revolting. I didn't quite mean to word it in that way ... but the lady at the counter proceeding to tell the qualified and well respected pharmacy "can this lady exchange her shakes on the lipo diet because they are utterly revolting" ... she could have helped me out a bit!
I had 1/2 cup of soup for my lunch ... I thought I'd save the other half until after badminton. I don't know what life has come to when my simple pleasure in life is looking forward to a "fake" chicken soup (it's suitable for vegetarians) after a game of badminton! I had my newly exchanged vanilla shake to give me my energy boost before badminton ... and I'm pleased I did ... I was nearly ready to collapse by the end of it!
I lost sorely at badminton - I like to blame it on the fact that I have basically not eaten since Friday, which is what I made sure I told my team mates every time I missed a shot. "I'v not eaten since friday you know! If it takes me to be in this weak state for you to beat me then so be it!"
I was determined to carry on tonight and I'm pleased I did ... and you know what? I didn't even have my 1/2 cup of chicken soup when I got home AND Claire has described my breathe as "RANK" ... I think that might be progress! The kerrykatonas have arrived!
I'm back to work today .... but I think I'll keep the diet our little secret ...
Day 2 ... Sunday 8th August 2010
Day 2 is worse. So much worse than day 1. Today I have cried more tears then is justified for being deprived of food!
I did a 5 mile hike today with my good friend Helen in preparation for my sponsored walk along Hadrian's Wall in September. With no solid food energy, I was relying on my morning chocolate shake to give me enough bounce to last the walk - and it did until the last mile. The last mile was horrendous - I wanted to cry, and give up and call a taxi - but I don't think any taxi's would have come to the middle of the field where we were. I carried on, put on a brave face and when I made it to the car I could have eaten Helen's hand right off. I'm wondering if Hannibal Lector was on Lipotrim because that would have explained a lot ...
When I got back home, ravenous, starved, no energy - I was greeted by the smell of Claire's dinner cooked and eaten. It was the worst point of the whole weekend, I had no energy to move or breathe - I just cried. I wanted a Chinese, a pizza, a tin of dog food - I wanted anything as long as it was edible. I logged onto my Lipotrim Forum and saw other peoples stories, looked at their weight loss stats and I cried even more. I knew I couldn't give up ... I had to keep going.
So, I made my shake this time with some black peppermint tea - and it kind of tasted like a chocolate aero! I continued to read posts in the forum to help spur me on and I played a little guitar.
Yes, I felt damn sorry for myself ... but I couldn't back out - not now. Besides, Claire says my breathe is started to smell which I was delighted about as it means my KerryKatonas should arrive tomorrow and it will make me feel a ton better.
Day 2 is well and truely complete.
I did a 5 mile hike today with my good friend Helen in preparation for my sponsored walk along Hadrian's Wall in September. With no solid food energy, I was relying on my morning chocolate shake to give me enough bounce to last the walk - and it did until the last mile. The last mile was horrendous - I wanted to cry, and give up and call a taxi - but I don't think any taxi's would have come to the middle of the field where we were. I carried on, put on a brave face and when I made it to the car I could have eaten Helen's hand right off. I'm wondering if Hannibal Lector was on Lipotrim because that would have explained a lot ...
When I got back home, ravenous, starved, no energy - I was greeted by the smell of Claire's dinner cooked and eaten. It was the worst point of the whole weekend, I had no energy to move or breathe - I just cried. I wanted a Chinese, a pizza, a tin of dog food - I wanted anything as long as it was edible. I logged onto my Lipotrim Forum and saw other peoples stories, looked at their weight loss stats and I cried even more. I knew I couldn't give up ... I had to keep going.
So, I made my shake this time with some black peppermint tea - and it kind of tasted like a chocolate aero! I continued to read posts in the forum to help spur me on and I played a little guitar.
Yes, I felt damn sorry for myself ... but I couldn't back out - not now. Besides, Claire says my breathe is started to smell which I was delighted about as it means my KerryKatonas should arrive tomorrow and it will make me feel a ton better.
Day 2 is well and truely complete.
Day 1 ...Saturday 7th August 2010
It's not as easy as I thought. Today has been torture - but more so because I just crave food all the time. I don't think I NEED it, but my body is used to it and so therefore expects it.
I woke up early this morning as we had a boot sale to go to but I didn't want to have my 1st shake straight away as I wanted to spread the day as much as possible, so as instructed by the chemist, I took a bottle of water with me. On the diet I have to cram at least 4 pints of water down a day on top of the water needed for the shakes so I went off with my water bottle. I felt good! knowing it was the start of my huge weight loss made me feel excellent - that was until we actually got to the boot fair..
I remembered that I love to have a hot dog for my breakfast when I get to the boot fair ... it was a no no but everywhere I looked people were eating burgers, hot dogs, drinking cans of fizzy...it wasn't pleasurable. I found comfort in knowing my delicious strawberry milkshake when I got home would make me feel better and that when my KerryKatonas kicked in, I wouldn't want these fatty foods that I so desperately craved anymore!
My strawberry milkshake was far from delicious. In fact my only way to describe it was pureed cardboard with a hint of oats goodness. It was disgusting - my first taste of success and it was disgusting. I drank it regardless knowing I wouldn't get anything else and it did fill me up - but I still wanted normal food, I've craved for normal food.
The afternoon in my house was like a rehab clinic. I fidgeted, I paced, I slept, I got up, I did everything that you would expect someone withdrawing from an addiction would do ... and it's no exaggeration!
I had my 2nd shake around 4pm which was a chocolate shake, in the blender with ice and a shot of expresso and it wasn't bad at all ... don't get me wrong - I still would have much preferred the breaded fish fillet Claire had just put in the oven for herself...but I HAD to persevere.
I continued to act like a complete zombie for the rest of the day, and had my final meal - chicken soup at about 7pm. It was edible - but torture at the same time.
BY 8.30pm I decided I just had to go to bed to take my mind off the food ... to take my mind off the skips that were in the cupboard, or the yoghurt's and cheese that I knew were lurking behind the fridge door...
Day 1 completed, no tears but a lot of self pity tantrums. I have survived a day with no food - just goodness.
I woke up early this morning as we had a boot sale to go to but I didn't want to have my 1st shake straight away as I wanted to spread the day as much as possible, so as instructed by the chemist, I took a bottle of water with me. On the diet I have to cram at least 4 pints of water down a day on top of the water needed for the shakes so I went off with my water bottle. I felt good! knowing it was the start of my huge weight loss made me feel excellent - that was until we actually got to the boot fair..
I remembered that I love to have a hot dog for my breakfast when I get to the boot fair ... it was a no no but everywhere I looked people were eating burgers, hot dogs, drinking cans of fizzy...it wasn't pleasurable. I found comfort in knowing my delicious strawberry milkshake when I got home would make me feel better and that when my KerryKatonas kicked in, I wouldn't want these fatty foods that I so desperately craved anymore!
My strawberry milkshake was far from delicious. In fact my only way to describe it was pureed cardboard with a hint of oats goodness. It was disgusting - my first taste of success and it was disgusting. I drank it regardless knowing I wouldn't get anything else and it did fill me up - but I still wanted normal food, I've craved for normal food.
The afternoon in my house was like a rehab clinic. I fidgeted, I paced, I slept, I got up, I did everything that you would expect someone withdrawing from an addiction would do ... and it's no exaggeration!
I had my 2nd shake around 4pm which was a chocolate shake, in the blender with ice and a shot of expresso and it wasn't bad at all ... don't get me wrong - I still would have much preferred the breaded fish fillet Claire had just put in the oven for herself...but I HAD to persevere.
I continued to act like a complete zombie for the rest of the day, and had my final meal - chicken soup at about 7pm. It was edible - but torture at the same time.
BY 8.30pm I decided I just had to go to bed to take my mind off the food ... to take my mind off the skips that were in the cupboard, or the yoghurt's and cheese that I knew were lurking behind the fridge door...
Day 1 completed, no tears but a lot of self pity tantrums. I have survived a day with no food - just goodness.
The Diet Appointment
I've woken with a touch of excitement that can only be compared to the one I feel on Christmas morning and I can't remember why ... what's happening today? Why am I so excited!? Oh yes, that's right - I'm going to be starting the new diet and in 2 months I'm practically going to be half the size!! Okay, so it's extreme and maybe I'm getting ahead of myself but I am feeling very positive!
I called to make my appointment at the pharmacy and spoke to the lovely lady on the phone...she took my name and when I arrived for my appointment she kindly shouted through the chemist ... "are you Tina?" ... I must have looked the exact stereotype for someone on this extreme food quitting diet ... great.
So, myself and the chemist and "SSarah" (the trainee Pharmacist who's training to coach on the Lipotrim diet), squeeze into the stationary cupboard closet, which I think they refer to as their "consulting room"
It is in this room I learn my punishment for the next 2 months ... my punishment for eating and eating without a regard for the consequences for the last 10 years. My punishment is that I will ONLY be allowed to drink 3 milkshakes a day - a special formula which will provide me with 450 calories per day. I'm told after 3 days or so my body will go into Ketosis - it sounds like something I should be concerned about - I had never heard the word "Ketosis" before ... what was it and what were Ketones...apparently they were going to make me no longer crave food and once my body had reached Ketosis stage, I would be burning pure fat - hence the rapid weight loss. It all sounds wonderful and I sign on the dotted line. Then I'm weighed.
Week 1 : 14 stone and 1/2Ib.
I have 5 stone to loose before I am no longer classified as "obese" ... I suddenly realise that this might not be so fun - but who said it was meant to be.
So I leave, £36 in money lighter with a carrier bag full of chocolate and strawberry milkshakes and a few chicken soup formulas and head home to begin my diet. I can't quite remember what those "ke..." somethings were called as I try and recall to my partner Claire, what the diet does...all I can say is KerryKatonas .. they sound about right!
"So, Claire, when the KerryKatonas kick in on day 3-4 that's when Im going to loose LOADS of weight!"
Although, it is rather silly starting a diet on a Friday night ... maybe just one last supper ... yes, I'll have a HUGE harvester and then I'll start tomorrow!
I called to make my appointment at the pharmacy and spoke to the lovely lady on the phone...she took my name and when I arrived for my appointment she kindly shouted through the chemist ... "are you Tina?" ... I must have looked the exact stereotype for someone on this extreme food quitting diet ... great.
So, myself and the chemist and "SSarah" (the trainee Pharmacist who's training to coach on the Lipotrim diet), squeeze into the stationary cupboard closet, which I think they refer to as their "consulting room"
It is in this room I learn my punishment for the next 2 months ... my punishment for eating and eating without a regard for the consequences for the last 10 years. My punishment is that I will ONLY be allowed to drink 3 milkshakes a day - a special formula which will provide me with 450 calories per day. I'm told after 3 days or so my body will go into Ketosis - it sounds like something I should be concerned about - I had never heard the word "Ketosis" before ... what was it and what were Ketones...apparently they were going to make me no longer crave food and once my body had reached Ketosis stage, I would be burning pure fat - hence the rapid weight loss. It all sounds wonderful and I sign on the dotted line. Then I'm weighed.
Week 1 : 14 stone and 1/2Ib.
I have 5 stone to loose before I am no longer classified as "obese" ... I suddenly realise that this might not be so fun - but who said it was meant to be.
So I leave, £36 in money lighter with a carrier bag full of chocolate and strawberry milkshakes and a few chicken soup formulas and head home to begin my diet. I can't quite remember what those "ke..." somethings were called as I try and recall to my partner Claire, what the diet does...all I can say is KerryKatonas .. they sound about right!
"So, Claire, when the KerryKatonas kick in on day 3-4 that's when Im going to loose LOADS of weight!"
Although, it is rather silly starting a diet on a Friday night ... maybe just one last supper ... yes, I'll have a HUGE harvester and then I'll start tomorrow!
Before the Diet....
It is a fact universally acknowledged that I'm fat. It's a harsh, blunt self criticism but true and I only speak what everyone else thinks. Okay, so there are people fatter BUT in terms of my own self esteem and confidence - I don't need that to be me.
After years of battling with fluctuating weight, mainly upwards, and years of starting and stopping diets realising I'm just too addicted to food - at the age of 25 and with a family history of health related problems caused by obesity - things have to change - and they have to change quickly.
My weight gain has been entirely self inflicted. I love eating out, when I socialise I suggest meals out, I have a hectic working life which means food on the go - McDonald's etc. Pizza is my favourite food and if I've had a crap day, I'll happily order one as soon as I get home without thinking of the consequences. After years and years of this pattern of behaviour there was only ever going to be one outcome - I was going to get fat.
I've tried Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Atkins ... you get the picture, none of them worked (as anyone that knows me can see!) Then, something new came along which basically involved quitting food.
Now, I'm no health expert but I was pretty sure quitting food altogether wasn't really an option. My food addiction may have sometimes been comparable to a crack addicts issues, in that I would sometimes quite happily consider injecting melted dairy milk through my veins - but surely going cold turkey on food wasn't the option. Apparently, it is.
For the last few months I have watched with admiration at my friend Ian's weight plummeting, each week I would see the facebook status update ... "-11Ib" ... "-18Ib" .... "-22Ib" and of course, I'm sure like many others, I sat and thought "how wonderful but he will put it all back on again because he is loosing it too quickly!" I assumed that my diet of eating a healthy salad for lunch followed by pizza for dinner would surely put me in better stead...clearly, my reputation of dieting leaves little to be desired.
So, last week approx 6 weeks after has finished his diet - we play badminton and Ian looks great - he has lost 3.5 stone in 8 weeks on a diet he calls "Lipotrim" ... I've never heard of it and I'm skeptical BUT I'm only human, and instinct is telling me to find out more because if he can do - surely I can do it.
With a Q&A session with Ian on the badminton court, and a reassurance over facebook that I wouldn't suffer irregular bowel movements and implode whilst on this diet - I took the plunge and booked my appointment at the chemist the very next day to start the diet. For me, healthy eating and regular exercise wasn't going to be an option - I had been there, tried it and it wasn't for me. I needed a rapid solution - and I had it - this was going to be EASY PEASY!
After years of battling with fluctuating weight, mainly upwards, and years of starting and stopping diets realising I'm just too addicted to food - at the age of 25 and with a family history of health related problems caused by obesity - things have to change - and they have to change quickly.
My weight gain has been entirely self inflicted. I love eating out, when I socialise I suggest meals out, I have a hectic working life which means food on the go - McDonald's etc. Pizza is my favourite food and if I've had a crap day, I'll happily order one as soon as I get home without thinking of the consequences. After years and years of this pattern of behaviour there was only ever going to be one outcome - I was going to get fat.
I've tried Weight Watchers, Slimming World, Atkins ... you get the picture, none of them worked (as anyone that knows me can see!) Then, something new came along which basically involved quitting food.
Now, I'm no health expert but I was pretty sure quitting food altogether wasn't really an option. My food addiction may have sometimes been comparable to a crack addicts issues, in that I would sometimes quite happily consider injecting melted dairy milk through my veins - but surely going cold turkey on food wasn't the option. Apparently, it is.
For the last few months I have watched with admiration at my friend Ian's weight plummeting, each week I would see the facebook status update ... "-11Ib" ... "-18Ib" .... "-22Ib" and of course, I'm sure like many others, I sat and thought "how wonderful but he will put it all back on again because he is loosing it too quickly!" I assumed that my diet of eating a healthy salad for lunch followed by pizza for dinner would surely put me in better stead...clearly, my reputation of dieting leaves little to be desired.
So, last week approx 6 weeks after has finished his diet - we play badminton and Ian looks great - he has lost 3.5 stone in 8 weeks on a diet he calls "Lipotrim" ... I've never heard of it and I'm skeptical BUT I'm only human, and instinct is telling me to find out more because if he can do - surely I can do it.
With a Q&A session with Ian on the badminton court, and a reassurance over facebook that I wouldn't suffer irregular bowel movements and implode whilst on this diet - I took the plunge and booked my appointment at the chemist the very next day to start the diet. For me, healthy eating and regular exercise wasn't going to be an option - I had been there, tried it and it wasn't for me. I needed a rapid solution - and I had it - this was going to be EASY PEASY!
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