I have come to the conclusion that the only way I can continue with this diet is to avoid going to work for the foreseeable future. Okay, maybe that wont work ... but I did today. Today I worked from home where I was safe from the smells and temptations of the London Food Scene.
Within the 4 walls of my study, in front of my computer is where I feel the most safe. There is of course the mild interruptions of "Two for Tuesday" reminders from Pizza Hut directly to my email inbox, but I deleted them after pondering, then realising it was Wednesday anyway.
I had a lovely choc coffee milkshake which I avoided until 11am .... I seem to think the longer I suffer first thing in the morning, the less I'll suffer in the afternoon - its not quite true but for those first few hours it certainly gets me by. I spent the rest of the morning in front of the PC, door closed hoping that I wouldn't hear the bittersweet sound of takeaway delivery menus landing on my doormat.
I felt the need to experiment with my sachets today - the standard milkshakes just were not cutting it and before long I just know the smell of the "chicken" (for vegetarians!) soup will make me gag - so instead I decided to make a mousse and a poppadom for my dinner! That's right - a mousse from my vanilla shake mix and a poppadom from my chicken soup mix ... and it was not good.
The vanilla mousse .... OK-ish apart from the slight tangy salty oat after taste I got, towards the end I just swallowed without tasting. Still, the concept of using a spoon to eat my dinner was somewhat exciting and it got me through the meal. I then attempted to make the chicken soup into a paste, spread it on a baking tray and pop it in the oven - the theory being it would turn into a big poppadom. The result? I'm one sachet down for the week and no poppadom. Tomorrow, I'm going to try making crisps out of it with fizzy water - by the end of this diet I envisage my very own cookbook "Tina's guide to surviving Lipotrim". I will of course perfect the poppadom before that one is published.
What I did successfully make was chocolate! Oh yes, here is one craving that will be well and truly fulfilled! Chocolate shake made to a paste with a little one, spooned into ice cube trays and VOILA! one hour later I had teeny tiny bite size snacks of chocolate to get me through the few hours in between meals when I just need a hit ... and they don't taste half bad! This afternoon was a tricky one and anyone on facebook that saw my status' were probably aware that it was a struggle .. I wanted to eat and all I kept doing was going to the kitchen and looking in the cupboards pining for the day I would be able to eat the contents of it ... I even considered throwing it all in the bin, and then had to wake up to the fact its just not fair to starve Claire as well all in the name of dieting!
I played badminton again tonight and saw Ian who inspired me (I use that word loosely now I'm on day 5 of the diet from hell) to do Lipotrim and we spent about 30 minutes after the game talking about the diet and I left the sports centre feeling reassured and confident that I CAN DO IT! We also discussed a few incidents I have had to get me through the days, one yesterday I forgot to mention in my blog was bending down to touch the leftover bit of garlic bread on Claire's plate - I had no intention to eat it - I just wanted to touch it. I had forgotten how good food felt. Apparently even touching food when on Lipotrim is illegal!!
I took yet another trip to tesco this evening, not to gaze lovingly in the eyes of the cheese section, but to stock back up on my water supply as I have run out. I even found the courage to let Claire do a bit of her food shopping while we were in there, even if I did have to stand facing away from the till at the end while she packed her shopping! Maybe I'll help her pack next week ...
The texts and facebook messages I have received from friends and family have helped hugely, namely today from Carley (standard), Emma, Joanna, the Cassie's on facebook, Roz and Kay .. thanks everyone for your words of encouragement - because of you all I now feel totally under pressure to finish it ... so thanks (through gritted teeth!)
So, I cant stay away from the demons for much longerr and tomorrow I have to return to my office - BUT its my last FULL day of Lipo before weigh in on Friday ... and I'm feeling the pressure to loose a nice amount of weight in my first week .. if I don't loose a nice amount I think I'm going to get my revenge by force feeding the chemist lady and her assistant all the strawberry milkshakes I returned and then get THEM to step on the scales!
I did have to do something today however to curb my frustration, I removed myself from the Facebook Starbucks group - that hurt. That really really hurt.
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